"C'est un mauvais mot, 'appartenir.' Surtout quand on l'associe à quelqu'un qu'on aime. L'amour ne devrait pas être comme ça."

At its core, the quote suggests that love should not be possessive or confining. When we say someone "belongs" to us, especially someone we love, it implies ownership and control, which can stifle the true essence of love. Love should be about freedom, respect, and mutual growth, not about holding someone tight in a way that limits their individuality.

Historically, the idea of possession in love has been around for ages. Think about the olden days when marriages were often about ownership and property. Women were considered the property of their husbands, and their freedom was restricted. In a more personal context, you might have experienced or witnessed relationships where one partner tries to control the other, often leading to feelings of entrapment and resentment. This quote pushes back against that outdated notion.

Let's dive into a real-life example to bring this concept home. Imagine a couple, Sarah and Jake. Sarah loves to paint and Jake is a software engineer. They deeply care about each other, but Jake has a habit of micromanaging Sarah’s time. He thinks that by deciding what’s best for her, he’s showing his love. He schedules her day, plans her meals, and even picks her friends. Initially, Sarah felt cherished, but soon, she started feeling trapped. Her love for painting began to wane as she lost her sense of self. This wasn’t love—this was possession. Sarah and Jake had to learn that true love is letting each other be individuals, pursuing their passions, and supporting each other’s growth.

So, how can you apply this wisdom in your own life? First off, recognize that your partner is their own person with their own dreams and desires. Encourage their independence. If they love hiking and you don’t, let them go on that hike with friends. It’s okay to miss them, but it’s not okay to hold them back because of your insecurities. Think of your relationship as a garden where both flowers can bloom in their own space, not tangled up in a mess that prevents growth.

Imagine a scenario where you’re at a party with your significant other. You notice they’re having a great time chatting with someone across the room. Do you feel a pang of jealousy? That’s normal, but don’t let it drive you to pull them away or interrupt their conversation. Instead, take a deep breath and remind yourself that love is about trust and freedom. You’re both there to enjoy yourselves, and your relationship is strong enough to withstand a little independence.

In essence, love should be a safe space where both people feel free to be themselves. It’s about supporting each other’s growth, not clipping each other’s wings. When you love someone, you want to see them flourish—not just as your partner, but as the unique individual they are. So, next time you feel the urge to control or possess, step back and remember that love isn’t about belonging to each other. It's about belonging with each other—two whole individuals choosing to walk side by side, not one behind the other.