"Cuanto más nos detenemos en nuestras desgracias, mayor es su poder para hacernos daño."

Dwelling on bad stuff just makes it worse. That's the gist of it. When we keep thinking about the things that go wrong in our lives, they start to feel even bigger and scarier than they are. It's like giving them extra power—more than they deserve.

Think about it. You've probably had times when you couldn't stop thinking about something bad that happened. Maybe it was a fight with a friend or a mistake at work. The more you replayed it in your mind, the worse it felt, right? That’s because our brains have this sneaky way of amplifying the negative when we focus on it too much.

Take Marcus Aurelius, for example. He was a Roman emperor and philosopher who knew a thing or two about tough times. The guy had pressure from all sides—wars, politics, personal loss. But he was big on the idea that focusing too much on bad stuff just makes it worse. Marcus believed that our thoughts shape our reality. If we let the bad ones run wild, they overshadow everything else and make us miserable.

Want a real-life example? Picture this: Jane, a graphic designer, botched a big project at work. Her boss wasn’t happy, and Jane couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every day, she replayed the scene in her head, imagining all the ways she could have done better. It consumed her. She started doubting her skills, avoided taking on new projects, and her performance tanked. Jane's constant focus on her mistake made it grow into this insurmountable obstacle, even though it was just one slip-up.

So, how can we avoid falling into this trap? The key is to recognize when we're spiraling and take action to snap out of it. One practical tip is to set a "worry timer." Give yourself a specific amount of time—say, 10 minutes—to think about the issue. Worry as much as you want during that time. When the timer goes off, that's it. Move on to something else. This helps contain the negativity and stops it from spreading into every part of your day.

Another approach is to shift your focus to something positive or productive. Engage in a hobby, call a friend, or go for a run. Anything that breaks the cycle of negative thinking can help.

Now, picture this scenario: imagine you’re stuck in traffic. You’re late for a meeting, and the frustration starts bubbling up. You can feel the tension in your shoulders. Instead of stewing in your anger, you decide to turn on your favorite podcast. You get lost in the story, and before you know it, you’re at your destination. The traffic didn’t change, but your experience did—because you shifted your focus.

In short, our minds are powerful tools. When we dwell on misfortunes, we give them more power than they deserve. By recognizing this pattern and actively changing our focus, we can prevent negativity from taking over. It's like flipping a switch. You don’t have to be stuck in the dark; you can choose to turn on the light.