"You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside"

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them. You might wake up one morning to find that your job is suddenly at risk, or maybe a major project has hit an unexpected snag. External events, these things that happen outside our realm of control, can often leave us feeling powerless and frustrated. But here’s the kicker—you can’t always control what happens around you, but you can always manage your internal reactions.

Let’s dive a bit deeper. The core idea here is that while we’re often at the mercy of external circumstances, our inner world—our thoughts, emotions, and reactions—are entirely within our grasp. This concept is rooted in ancient philosophies and has been echoed by countless thinkers over centuries. For instance, the Stoic philosopher Epictetus famously remarked that we shouldn’t worry about things beyond our control, focusing instead on our own actions and thoughts.

Imagine you’re at work, and your boss criticizes a project you’ve poured your heart into. Now, you can’t control your boss’s opinion, but you can control how you respond. You could let it ruin your day, stewing in anger and disappointment. Or, you could take a deep breath, process the feedback constructively, and come out stronger and more resilient.

Think about Viktor Frankl, a neurologist and psychiatrist, who survived the horrors of the Holocaust. He wrote about his experiences in his book, "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl observed that even in the most dire circumstances, individuals could find meaning and maintain their inner freedom by choosing their attitude towards their suffering. He couldn’t control his external circumstances—imprisonment, starvation, the loss of his family—but he could control his internal response. He chose to find purpose and hope, despite everything.

In your own life, applying this wisdom starts with mindfulness. When faced with a tough situation, pause. Take a moment to breathe and reflect before reacting. Ask yourself, “Can I control this situation?” If the answer is no, shift your focus to what you can control—your thoughts and your actions. Practice reframing negative thoughts into positive or neutral ones. Instead of thinking, “This is terrible, and I can’t handle it,” try, “This is challenging, but I can find a way through it.”

Picture this scenario: You’re stuck in traffic. It’s frustrating, sure. You’re going to be late, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Instead of raging at the steering wheel, use the time to listen to a podcast you love or an audiobook you’ve been meaning to catch up on. Shift your perspective from “I’m wasting time” to “I’m using this time productively.”

By focusing on what you can control, you empower yourself. You’re no longer at the mercy of external events. You become the master of your internal world, steering your thoughts and emotions in a direction that serves you. This doesn’t mean you won’t feel frustration or sadness—those emotions are natural—but you won’t let them control you.

Adopting this mindset is like building a muscle. It takes time and practice, but the more you do it, the stronger you become. So next time life throws you a curveball, remember—you’ve got the power to decide how you’ll catch it.