"If you want a quality, act as if you already had it."

Imagine you're meeting someone for the first time, and you really want to come across as confident. You might think, "Well, I'm not naturally confident, so how can I do that?" That’s where the idea of acting as if you already possess the quality you want comes in. Essentially, if you want to be more confident, start behaving in ways that confident people do.

This idea isn't new—it’s rooted in the concept of “fake it till you make it.” The notion is that by adopting behaviors associated with a desired trait, you gradually start to internalize that trait. It’s kind of like muscle memory for your personality. You’re training yourself to become the person you want to be by practicing those qualities until they feel natural.

Now, let's dive into a real-life application. Picture this: Sarah is nervous about public speaking. She wants to be a great speaker, but every time she thinks about getting on stage, her heart races and her palms get sweaty. Instead of focusing on her nerves, she decides to act as if she’s already an accomplished speaker. She starts by standing tall, making eye contact, and modulating her voice as if she’s addressing a crowd. Over time, her body and mind start to sync up with these actions. The more she practices, the more natural it feels. Eventually, Sarah finds herself genuinely more confident when speaking in public.

So, how can you apply this wisdom in your own life? First, identify the quality you want to develop. Let's say you want to be more disciplined. Observe what disciplined people do. They set goals, they stick to schedules, and they don’t procrastinate. Start doing these things, even if it feels forced at first. Set a small goal for yourself, like waking up 30 minutes earlier to exercise. Don’t hit the snooze button—get up and do it. The more you practice these disciplined behaviors, the more natural they’ll become.

Here’s a relatable scenario to illustrate this: Think about a time when you started a new job. It’s your first day, and you’re surrounded by people who seem to know exactly what they’re doing. You, on the other hand, feel totally out of place. What do you do? You act like you belong. You observe the people around you, see how they operate, and mirror those behaviors. You might not feel like you belong at first, but by acting as if you do, you start to fit in. Your actions create a feedback loop that boosts your confidence and helps you adjust to the new environment faster.

In essence, this advice is all about the power of behavior in shaping your identity. By acting as if you already have a particular quality, you’re not just pretending. You’re actively training yourself to embody that quality. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you act the part, the more you become the part.

So next time you’re striving for a quality you admire, don’t wait for it to magically appear. Act as if it’s already part of you. You’ll be surprised at how quickly your actions can turn into genuine traits. And who knows? You might just become the person you’ve always wanted to be.