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"Le bonheur ne dépend pas vraiment des conditions objectives de richesse de santé ou même de communauté Il dépend plutôt de la corrélation entre les conditions objectives et les attentes subjectives"

Yuval Noah Harari
Yuval Noah Harari Historian and Author
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You know how we often think that being rich or super healthy is the key to happiness? It's like we all have this checklist: good job, big house, fancy car, perfect health. But here's the kicker—those things, on their own, don’t actually guarantee happiness. What really matters is how those things stack up against what we expect from life. Crazy, right?

This whole idea was popularized by philosophers and psychologists who noticed that people’s happiness doesn’t always align with their actual circumstances. Imagine someone winning the lottery. You’d think they’d be over the moon forever. But studies have shown that after a while, their overall happiness returns to what it was before they struck gold. Why? Because their expectations adjust. They get used to the new wealth, and it becomes their new normal.

Let’s think about a real-life example. Take Olympians, for instance. You might assume the gold medalist is the happiest person on the podium. Surprisingly, it’s often the bronze medalist who feels the most joy. The gold medalist may focus on how they almost failed to meet the massive expectations placed on them. The silver medalist often fixates on how close they were to winning gold. But the bronze medalist? They’re just thrilled to have made it onto the podium at all! Their happiness comes from exceeding their expectations, not from the objective reality of their standing.

So, how do you use this insight in your own life? First, recalibrate your expectations. If you’re always chasing after some far-off dream—thinking you’ll be happy only when you get that promotion or lose those last 10 pounds—you’re setting yourself up for a cycle of temporary thrills followed by inevitable letdowns. Instead, focus on what you have and adjust your expectations to find satisfaction in the present.

Let’s get a bit more personal. Imagine you’re at a coffee shop with a friend. She’s just come back from a two-week vacation in the Bahamas. Sun-kissed and bubbling with stories, she makes you feel a twinge of envy. You start thinking your life is mundane. But then you remember this idea about happiness. Instead of feeling down, you shift your perspective. You think about how much you enjoy your morning coffee, the warmth of the mug in your hands, the chit-chat with the barista who knows your order by heart. Suddenly, the Bahamas don’t seem so important. Your happiness isn’t about the objective condition of not being on a tropical island; it’s about your expectations. You expected your coffee shop routine to be mundane, but when you really look at it, it’s actually pretty wonderful.

In essence, the secret sauce to lasting happiness is aligning what you want with what you have. When you’re feeling down, take a step back and ask yourself, “What are my expectations here? Are they realistic?” Adjusting your outlook can make the difference between feeling perpetually dissatisfied and truly content. We can’t always change our circumstances, but we can definitely change how we think about them. Remember, it’s all about perspective.
Related tags
Community Happiness Health Life satisfaction Mindset Perspective Wealth Well-being
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