Family Quotes

"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years." "Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago." "In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV." "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" "Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry" "The most amazing thing about being a parent is that every single day it feels like a different day"