"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others"

Sometimes life can feel like it's dealing us a bad hand. We all have those moments when everything seems to go wrong. But it's not just our own bad luck that gets to us—seeing someone else thrive while we're struggling can be just as tough. That's what this quote is all about. It boils down to two types of tough situations: the ones where we come out on the losing end, and the ones where someone else comes out on top.

Imagine you've been working at your job for several years, putting in extra hours and going above and beyond. You're waiting for that big promotion. Then, out of nowhere, a new colleague breezes in and gets the job you've been eyeing. That's a double whammy. Not only did you miss out (your misfortune), but someone else nabbed a success that could have been yours. It's salt in the wound.

This isn't a new concept. Throughout history, people have grappled with their own challenges while envying the success of others. The ancient Greeks had a word for it—"phthonos," a kind of jealous resentment at someone else's good fortune. It’s a natural human emotion, one that crops up in every culture and era.

Let's talk about a real-life example. Picture a small startup company. The team works tirelessly, often late into the night, trying to get their product off the ground. They believe in what they're doing. But just as they're gaining some traction, a big corporation releases a similar product with better features and more marketing muscle. The startup folks are devastated. They feel their own hard work crumbling around them, and they're faced with the success of a giant overshadowing their efforts. It's a bitter pill to swallow.

So how do we deal with these feelings? First, let's acknowledge it's okay to feel this way. We're human, after all. But let's not stay stuck in that funk. One piece of advice is to reframe how we see these situations. Instead of seeing another's success as your failure, try to view it as inspiration. What can you learn from their journey? Are there new strategies you can adopt? This mindset shift doesn't happen overnight, but it can turn envy into motivation.

Here's something practical: the next time you find yourself caught up in either your own misfortune or someone else's good fortune, take a step back. Write down what you're feeling. Sometimes, putting it on paper helps you see things more clearly. Then, jot down three things you can control about the situation. Maybe it's learning a new skill, networking more, or even just taking better care of your mental health.

Let's wrap this up with a relatable scenario. Picture a neighborhood block party. You're chatting with a friend, and they casually mention they're buying a new car—a shiny, luxurious model. Meanwhile, you're struggling to keep your old car running. It stings, right? But instead of dwelling on it, you could ask them about their purchase process. Maybe you learn about a financing option you didn't know about. Or you get motivated to save a bit more aggressively. You’re turning that initial pang of envy into something actionable.

Life is full of ups and downs, both for us and those around us. It’s a dance of fortune and misfortune. The trick is to learn the steps, even when they’re tough, and keep moving forward.