"Si vous ne pouvez pas demander de l'aide sans vous juger, vous ne pouvez pas offrir de l'aide sans juger les autres"

The idea here is quite straightforward: if you’re too hard on yourself when you need assistance, you’re likely to be just as harsh on others when they need help. Imagine you’re struggling with something at work, but you won't reach out because you think it makes you look weak or incompetent. That same mindset will probably come into play when someone else needs help. You might think, "Why can't they handle this? I had to figure it out on my own." It’s a cycle of judgment that starts with how you treat yourself.

This concept has roots in both psychological understanding and everyday wisdom. Historically, many cultures and philosophies emphasize self-compassion. Take the Buddhist principle of loving-kindness (metta), for example. It teaches that you should be gentle with yourself to extend that same compassion to others. This quote aligns with that idea, suggesting that the way you treat yourself is directly linked to how you treat others.

Let’s consider a real-world example. Think about a manager at a company. If this manager feels ashamed every time they need guidance, they might never ask for help. Instead, they push through their struggles alone. When their team members come to them with questions, the manager might feel frustrated and impatient—“Why can’t they figure it out themselves?” This attitude creates a toxic work environment where nobody feels safe asking for help. Eventually, productivity drops, and morale plummets.

So how do you apply this wisdom? Start by being kinder to yourself. The next time you’re stuck, remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It means you're open to learning and improving. When you practice self-compassion, you’ll find it easier to be compassionate towards others. It’s like a muscle you build over time—be gentle with yourself, and you’ll naturally be gentler with others.

Let's bring this to life with a relatable scenario. Imagine you’re back in school, preparing for a big exam. You’re stuck on a tough problem but feel embarrassed to ask your teacher for help. You think, “I should know this already.” You spend hours struggling alone, getting more frustrated. Your friend, on the other hand, asks the same teacher for help and quickly understands the problem, saving herself a lot of stress.

Now, when another friend asks you for help with a different problem, you’re more likely to be impatient. You might think, “If I had to struggle, they should too.” But what if you had asked for help? You’d understand the power of reaching out and would be much more willing to lend a hand without judgment.

So next time you’re hesitant to ask for help, think about this: Would you judge a friend for needing assistance? Probably not. Treat yourself with the same kindness. When you do, you’ll find it easier to extend that understanding to others. It’s all connected—how you treat yourself sets the tone for how you treat everyone else. And trust me, a little self-compassion goes a long way.