"People may call what happens at midlife a 'crisis,' but it’s not. It’s an unravelling a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re ‘supposed’ to live."

The core idea here is that what folks often refer to as a "midlife crisis" is really more of an awakening or a deep realization. It's that moment when you start questioning everything—your career, your relationships, your choices—and feel an urgent need to break free from societal expectations to pursue what genuinely makes you happy.

Let's talk about where this idea comes from. This notion gained traction around the 1960s and 70s when the concept of the midlife crisis was first coined. People noticed that around the age of 40, individuals tend to undergo significant introspection and often make drastic changes in their lives. But instead of seeing this as a crisis or a breakdown, think of it as an "unravelling." It's a time when layers of pretense and obligations start peeling away, revealing your true desires and aspirations underneath.

Take, for example, the story of John, a successful lawyer in his mid-forties. For years, he followed the script laid out for him—law school, a prestigious job, the big house. Yet, he always had a passion for painting. One day, he realized he couldn’t ignore this passion any longer. He started painting in his spare time, and eventually, he left his high-paying job to become a full-time artist. His friends and family thought he was having a crisis, but for John, it was a liberation. He felt more alive and fulfilled than he ever did in the courtroom.

So, how can you apply this wisdom to your own life? First, give yourself permission to question everything. Is your current path aligned with what truly makes you happy? If not, what small steps can you take to get closer to what you really want? It doesn't have to be a drastic change like quitting your job. Start small—maybe take up a hobby or carve out time for something you love.

Imagine you’re at a coffee shop with a friend. They’re feeling stuck, questioning their life choices. You might tell them about this concept of unravelling. Share how it's okay—normal, even—to feel this desperate pull to live more authentically. Maybe you'll recount John's story or, better yet, share your own moments of unravelling and the small changes you made to live more in tune with your true self.

Think about it this way: Imagine you're a tightly wound ball of yarn. As you go through life, various experiences and expectations wrap around you, layer by layer. Midlife comes, and you start to feel this pressure, this tightness. The "crisis" isn't a breakdown—it's the ball of yarn starting to unravel. The layers come off, and you're left with the core of who you are.

It's a bit messy, sure. It can be uncomfortable. But it's also freeing. So, when you feel that pull, don’t ignore it. Listen. Start unravelling. You might just find that the life you want to live is closer than you think.