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"One can be the master of what one does but never of what one feels."

Gustave Flaubert
Gustave Flaubert Novelist
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Quote meaning
Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in control of our actions, but our feelings—oh boy, those are a different story. This quote touches on a core truth about human nature: we can govern our behaviors and choices, but our emotions often have a mind of their own.

Think about it. You can decide to wake up early, go for a run, and eat a healthy breakfast. You’re the master of those actions. But can you force yourself to feel happy just by deciding to? Not really. Feelings are like wild horses; they come and go as they please, often without any input from us.

Let's rewind to the early 20th century. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, was big on this distinction. He believed our unconscious mind heavily influenced our feelings. You could be perfectly rational and make sound decisions, yet still be plagued by inexplicable emotions. That’s just how we’re wired.

Now, picture this in a real-life scenario. Ever been in a relationship where you knew the other person wasn’t right for you? Maybe they didn’t treat you well, or you just grew apart. You decide to break up because that’s the logical thing to do. You know it’s for the best. But even after the decision is made, your feelings don’t just snap into line. You might still miss them, feel lonely, or even regretful. Your actions were within your control, but your emotions? Not so much.

So how do you apply this wisdom in your life? First off, cut yourself some slack. It’s okay to feel things deeply, even if those feelings don’t match up with your logical decisions. When you’re in the thick of it, remember that feelings are temporary. They come and go like waves, and you don’t always have to act on them. Take a step back, breathe, and give yourself permission to feel without judgment.

Let’s dive into a relatable scenario. Imagine you’re at work, and you’ve been overlooked for a promotion you thought you deserved. You’re angry and disappointed. You could lash out, quit on the spot, or let your performance slide. But if you step back, you’d realize that while you can’t control your immediate feelings of frustration, you can control what you do next. Maybe you channel that emotion into working even harder, or you have a constructive conversation with your boss about your career path. You don’t ignore your feelings, but you don’t let them dictate your actions either.

In short, embrace the fact that you’re human. You’ll feel things—sometimes intensely and unpredictably. But while you can’t always control those feelings, you can choose how you respond to them. It’s like being a surfer: you can’t control the waves, but you can learn to ride them. And in the end, it’s the choices you make, not the fleeting emotions, that shape your path.

So next time you find yourself overwhelmed by feelings, remember this: it’s okay. Feelings are just visitors; let them come and go. Focus on what you can control—your actions, your responses, your choices. That’s where your true power lies.
Related tags
Control Emotional intelligence Emotions Feelings Human nature Inner conflict Mastery Psychology Self-awareness Self-control
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