"There are ways of being abandoned even when your parents are right there"

The core idea here is that abandonment isn't just about physical presence. Even if your parents are around, you can still feel neglected, unseen, or unsupported. It's about emotional availability, not just being in the same room.

This idea has roots in both psychology and everyday experiences. Think about it—how often do we hear stories of people who grew up feeling like their parents were strangers? Maybe the parents were busy with work, or perhaps they didn't know how to connect emotionally. This isn't a new phenomenon; it’s something that’s been happening throughout history. Remember those classic tales of the 'absent father' who's always at work? Or the 'overwhelmed mother' who’s physically present but emotionally drained? These are just different variations of the same theme.

Let’s dive into a real-life example to make this more concrete. Picture a kid named Jamie. Jamie's parents are always around—they both work from home. But here's the catch: when Jamie tries to talk about his day or share something that excites him, his parents are glued to their screens. They nod, maybe throw in a 'That's nice,' but their eyes never leave the computer. Jamie feels like he's talking to a wall. His parents are there, but they're not really *there*. Over time, Jamie starts to feel invisible, like his thoughts and feelings don’t matter. That’s a form of abandonment.

So, how do we apply this wisdom in our own lives? It’s simple, but it takes effort. Be present—truly present. When you're with someone, whether it's your kid, partner, or friend, give them your full attention. Put down your phone, close your laptop, and engage. Listen actively. Show that you care by responding thoughtfully and asking questions. It's about making the other person feel valued and understood.

Now, imagine this: You're having coffee with a friend who’s venting about their job. Instead of nodding while scrolling through Instagram, you look them in the eye, empathize, and offer genuine advice. They feel heard and appreciated. That's the difference between being physically present and being emotionally available.

Let’s take it a step further with a story. Think about Sarah, a busy mom juggling work and three kids. She's always there—at soccer games, school meetings, dinner. But she’s often distracted, thinking about emails or deadlines. Her son, Luke, gets an ‘A’ on his math test and excitedly shows her. Sarah glances up and says, 'Great job, honey,' before returning to her laptop. Luke walks away, feeling a bit disappointed. Later, Sarah realizes what happened. Next time, she makes a conscious effort to close her laptop, look Luke in the eyes, and celebrate his achievement with enthusiasm. Luke beams with joy, feeling truly acknowledged.

We can all learn from Sarah’s shift. Being genuinely present can transform relationships. It can prevent feelings of abandonment and foster deeper connections. So next time you’re with someone, think about Jamie and Luke. Be there—not just in body, but in spirit and heart. That’s how we bridge the gap between presence and true connection.