"حتی غم هم یک تقویم کوچک دارد تا مجبور نباشید به آن یادآوری کنید کجا زندگی می‌کند"

Grief’s a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s like that uninvited guest who shows up at your door whenever it feels like it, without checking if it's a good time for you. The core idea behind the quote is simple: grief has its own timeline, and you can’t just tell it when to leave or come back. It’s going to do its thing, regardless of how much you try to control it.

Let's dig into where this idea might come from. Throughout history, people have tried to understand and manage grief in all sorts of ways. Think about mourning periods in different cultures – some have strict rules about how long you should grieve, what you should wear, and how you should behave. But these traditions acknowledge something fundamental: you can't just wish your grief away. It’s going to hang around as long as it needs to. It's like a stubborn stain on your favorite shirt – you can scrub all you want, but it’ll fade when it’s good and ready.

Picture this: a friend of mine, Sarah, lost her dad a few years back. She thought she'd be able to handle it with a stiff upper lip and a busy schedule. She threw herself into work, hobbies, and social engagements, thinking she could outrun the sadness. But grief doesn’t play by our rules. It would sneak up on her in the quiet moments – when she was driving home from work, or even in the middle of a laugh with friends. One day, she found herself crying in her car because a song on the radio reminded her of her dad. It had been months, but there it was, raw and real as ever.

So, what’s the takeaway? You’ve got to give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling, when you're feeling it. Don’t try to rush through your emotions or box them into a neat schedule. If you’re grieving, let it be a part of your life, however messy it might be. Feel sad when you need to, cry when you have to, and don’t be afraid to sit with your emotions. They’re there for a reason.

Imagine this: you’re trying to learn how to play the guitar. Every time you hit a wrong note, you get frustrated. You think, “I should be better at this by now.” But learning an instrument isn’t a straight path. It’s full of mistakes, slow progress, and unexpected breakthroughs. Grief is like that too. You might think, “I should be over this,” but there’s no “should” in grief. It takes the time it takes.

So, next time you find yourself overwhelmed by a wave of sadness, don’t fight it. Remember that grief has its own calendar. You don’t have to remind it where it lives; it knows. And it will leave when it's ready. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Let your emotions ebb and flow. You’ll find that, gradually, the pain becomes less sharp. The memories will start bringing smiles instead of tears. It’s all part of the process – and it’s uniquely yours.