"The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have."

When we place high importance on things that are beyond our control, we end up feeling powerless and sometimes even helpless. It’s pretty straightforward, really. If you can't change it, why let it take up so much room in your mind?

Historically, this line of thought hails from Stoic philosophy. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor, might have been the first to put such sentiments into words. He had a lot on his plate—ruling an empire and all that jazz—but he still found time to reflect on human nature. He realized that fixating on uncontrollable factors only led to frustration.

Think about a student awaiting college acceptance letters. They’ve studied hard, aced their exams, but now it's out of their hands. If they obsess over whether they’ll get in, they’re handing over their peace of mind to an admissions committee. Instead, they could focus on things they can control—like applying for other opportunities or exploring backup plans.

So how do you use this wisdom in your daily life? Start by identifying what’s in your control and what isn’t. You can control your actions, reactions, and efforts. But the outcome, other people's opinions, and random events? Not so much. The trick is to invest your energy where it can make a difference.

Imagine you’re at work. You’ve done everything right on a big project, but then the client decides to go with another company. If you brood over it, you’re just stressing yourself out over something you couldn’t change. Instead, channel that energy into improving your next pitch or learning from any mistakes. You reclaim control by focusing on what you can do, not what you can’t.

A relatable story? Picture Sarah, a young artist. She’s poured her heart into her latest piece and submitted it to a prestigious gallery. The wait is grueling. She checks her email obsessively, her mood swinging with every notification. But let’s pivot a bit—what if Sarah decided to start a new project instead of refreshing her inbox? She’d be too busy creating to worry about the gallery’s decision, which she can’t influence anyway.

We’ve all been Sarah at some point. I know I have. There was this job I desperately wanted. I had nailed the interview—at least, I thought so. But waiting for the call was torture. Days felt like years. Then I remembered the Stoic approach. Instead of obsessing, I threw myself into my current work and started planning a side project. Funny thing is, when the call finally came, it didn’t seem like the be-all, end-all anymore. I had reclaimed my sense of control.

So next time you catch yourself spiraling over something you can’t control, take a step back. Redirect your focus. It’s a game-changer, trust me. Whether it’s your career, relationships, or just day-to-day stuff, keeping your focus on what you can control isn’t just smart—it’s liberating.