"اسیب‌پذیران از بیماری خود شکایت می‌کنند، اما تا جایی که می‌توانند از آن بهره‌برداری می‌کنند، و هنگامی که نوبت به گرفتن آن از آنها می‌رسد، مانند یک شیر ماده که از فرزندانش محافظت می‌کند، از آن دفاع می‌کنند."

Sometimes, people who suffer from mental or emotional challenges—neuroses—often grumble about their struggles. Yet these very struggles sometimes become such an integral part of their identity that they hold on to them fiercely. Imagine, if you will, a person who's lived with anxiety for years. It’s a constant companion, an unwanted guest that disrupts their daily life. They might gripe about it endlessly, but when faced with the idea of losing this familiar discomfort, they resist the change.

This idea comes from the renowned psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, who observed this paradoxical behavior in his patients. In the early 20th century, Freud was pioneering methods to delve into the human psyche. His patients frequently lamented their conditions, but when he proposed treatments that might lift these burdens, he noticed a surprising resistance. It's as though their illness had become a crutch—or even, to some extent, a twisted badge of identity.

Now, let’s bring this concept to life with a real-world example. Picture Alice, a young woman who struggled with social anxiety. She dreaded social gatherings, avoided parties, and felt a pang of fear at the mere thought of public speaking. Her friends knew her as the quiet one, the introvert. She often complained about how her anxiety held her back from living a fuller, happier life. One day, a friend suggested therapy and even offered to help her find a good therapist. But Alice hesitated. The idea of life without that familiar anxiety was daunting. Who would she be without it? Just the thought of stepping out of her comfort zone brought on waves of fear.

The lesson here is about the complexity of human emotions and behavior. It’s not uncommon for people to cling to their problems because those problems become a part of who they are. So, how can you apply this understanding in your life—or help someone else? Start by recognizing that change, even positive change, can be scary. If you find yourself—or someone you care about—resisting help or improvement, take a gentle approach. Encourage small steps. Celebrate tiny victories. And acknowledge that letting go of a problem can feel like losing a piece of oneself.

Imagine you're coaching someone through this. Your friend, let’s call him Joe, has been battling mild depression for a while now. He talks about how it saps his energy and joy, but when you suggest a new hobby or joining a support group, he finds excuses. Instead of pushing, you might say, “I get that it's tough. It’s a part of you that’s been there for a while. How about we just try one small thing together? Like a short walk, just to see how it feels?”

In essence, the quote reminds us of the deep-seated human tendency to hold on to what’s familiar—even when it causes pain. By understanding and addressing this, we can better support ourselves and others through the journey of healing and change.