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Steven Wright Quotes

Biography

Steven Wright, born on December 6, 1955, is an American stand-up comedian and actor known for his distinctive deadpan delivery and surreal one-liners. He gained widespread acclaim in 1985 with his Grammy-nominated comedy album "I Have a Pony. more Steven Wright, born on December 6, 1955, is an American stand-up comedian and actor known for his distinctive deadpan delivery and surreal one-liners. He gained widespread acclaim in 1985 with his Grammy-nominated comedy album "I Have a Pony." Wright's unique comedic style earned him an Academy Award in 1989 for the short film "The Appointments of Dennis Jennings," which he co-wrote and starred in. His appearances on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" in the early 1980s helped catapult his career, making him a household name. Wright continued to influence the comedy scene with his 2007 follow-up album, "I Still Have a Pony," further solidifying his place in comedic history. less

Popular Quotes

"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast."
Tags: Humor, Wit, Observation, Logic, Funny
"When I was a kid, my grandmother had this giant spool of thread, and we were going to string it out of her window real far, you know, and then let go and put a note on the end. Now I'm stuck with a spool of string I could never use up."
Tags: Imagination, Adventure, Family, Nostalgia, Innocence
"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five"
Tags: Humor, Irony, Sarcasm, Wit, Luck
"I like to reminisce with people I don't know"
Tags: Nostalgia, Human connection, Memories, Conversation, Social interaction
"If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before"
Tags: Wisdom, Humor, Morality, Decision making, Irony
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met"
Tags: Relationships, Humor, Irony, Breakup, Dating
"Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."
Tags: Humor, Memory, Paradox, Mind, Brain
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Tags: Perspective, Future, Insight, Foresight, Visionary
"I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time."
Tags: Humor, Time management, Irony, Satire, Wordplay
"Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now."
Tags: Productivity, Hard work, Discipline, Self-discipline, Motivational
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Tags: Philosophy, Perspective, Life lessons, Humor, Contentment
"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically."
Tags: Humor, Irony, Funny, Wordplay, Shopping
"Half the people you know are below average."
Tags: Wisdom, Perception, Humor, Insight, Paradox
"I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding."
Tags: Spirituality, Reflection, Religion, Accountability, Civilization
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
Tags: Philosophy, Wisdom, Perseverance, Perspective, Reflection
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