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Steven Wright Quotes

Biography: Steven Wright is known for his deadpan delivery and surreal humor as a... more Biography: Steven Wright is known for his deadpan delivery and surreal humor as a stand-up comedian. With his distinctive monotone voice and slow, deliberate pacing, Wright has captivated audiences worldwide. He won an Academy Award for his short film "The Appointments of Dennis Jennings" and has released several critically acclaimed comedy albums. less
"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"
Tags: Creativity, Humor, Imagination, Paradox, Irony
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Tags: Inspiration, Philosophy, Creativity, Literature, Imagination
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time"
Tags: Humor, Technology, Funny, Joke, Time travel
"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly"
Tags: Competition, Monopoly, Board games, Consumer choice, Corporate monopoly
"Curiosity killed the cat but for a while I was a suspect"
Tags: Humor, Paradox, Curiosity, Irony, Wit
"I planted some bird seed a bird came up now I don't know what to feed it"
Tags: Humor, Nature, Wildlife, Gardening, Birds
"Hermits have no peer pressure"
Tags: Individuality, Freedom, Independence, Self-reliance, Solitude
"If you were going to shoot a mime would you use a silencer"
Tags: Humor, Paradox, Irony, Silence, Violence
"I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone"
Tags: Humor, Dogs, Lighthearted, Funny quotes, Absurd
"I went to a place to eat it said breakfast any time so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance"
Tags: Humor, Unexpected, Joke, Time travel, Dining
"I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add"
Tags: Humor, Paradox, Satire, Wit, Funny
"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious."
Tags: Humor, Conflict, Neighbors, Home improvement, Renovation
"If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments."
Tags: Consequences, Personal finance, Debt, Financial management, Financial responsibility
"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."
Tags: Philosophy, Self-awareness, Self-discovery, Identity, Introspection
"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
Tags: Humor, Food, Absurdity, Historical, Time travel
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