Wit Quotes

"Curiosity killed the cat but for a while I was a suspect" "I drink to make other people more interesting" "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools" "The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket." "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "The victory of wit over philosophy always comes down to the victory of meaning over fact. " "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." "I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." "I have nothing to declare except my genius." "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose" "To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job" "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men" "Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds "