Irony Quotes

"I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly." "There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer shelf life" "Tobacco is my favorite vegetable" "The meek may one day inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights" "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends will call it" "Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children." "Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn’t every war fought between men, between brothers?" "I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." "I suspect people of plotting to make me happy" "Congratulations, you played yourself" "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think" "We're so self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We're gonna save the fucking planet?" "When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat" "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose"