Irony Quotes

"What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes." "The irony is that while God doesn’t need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the time" "The grass is always greener over the septic tank." "There are more old drunks than there are old doctors so I guess we’d better have another round" "Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them" "There is something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym" "Common sense ain't common." "If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out?" "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it" "I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?" "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."