Sarcasm Quotes

"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." "It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy." "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider. That's scary." "Sometimes the funniest thing to say is mean." "Cricket is basically baseball on valium" "I'm always amazed that people take what I say seriously. I don't even take what I am seriously." "I liked peanut butter. Peanut butter never got another woman pregnant. Peanut butter never made me cry. Nobody cared if you were photographed in a club with a jar of Jif" "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." "I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it." "Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins." "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." "If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning." "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." "Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement"