Satire Quotes

"He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career." "I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." "I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add" "Four legs good, two legs bad." "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think" "Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them" "If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out?" "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem." "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately" "Electric toothbrushes are good too, only I prefer them up my ass so I can listen to rock and roll while I ride my bicycle" "In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem." "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends will call it" "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it"