Humor Quotes

"I can't wait until tomorrow because I get better looking every day" "I'm growing older but not up" "People will insist on treating the mons veneris as though it were Mount Everest." "You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in" "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." "Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans" "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans." "My relationship with death remains the same. I'm strongly against it." "I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it." "I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it." "Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer" "What will I be doing in twenty years' time? I'll be dead, darling! Are you crazy?" "Nothing wrong with me except maybe my personality" "Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins." "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."