Humor Quotes

"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." "Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." "Two things are bad for the heart—running up stairs and running down people." "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" "I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception" "Those are my principles and if you don't like them well I have others" "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it" "Room service send up a larger room" "Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society." "A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use." "Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color, or sexual habits, love life and your family" "Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny." "I'm Irish. I think about death all the time." "In the end, everything is a gag"