Humor Quotes

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't fly" "Time is an illusion Lunchtime doubly so" "I love deadlines I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by" "In the beginning the Universe was created This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move" "Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion" "I learned to balance desperation with humor" "The key to sitcom success is miserable people." "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker" "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions" "I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens" "Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny" "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive" "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped" "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." "It’s a Bazooka-meets-slighty-embarrassed grin kind of thing."