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Irony Quotes

"Making itself intelligible is suicide for philosophy."

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met"

"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five"

"Like getting into a bleeding competition with a blood bank."

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"The grass is always greener over the septic tank."

"Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement"

"As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, they no longer are. "

"When you’re happy and you know it, fake a smile and don’t show it"

"I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world."

"Life is wasted on the living."

"There is nothing more boring than the truth."

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