Irony Quotes

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens" "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped" "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" "Those are my principles and if you don't like them well I have others" "Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny." "In the end, everything is a gag" "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job" "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon" "9: In heaven, all the interesting people are missing." "Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." "The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep." "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" "For what do we live but to make sport for our neighbours and laugh at them in our turn" "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."