Humor Quotes

"Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I am the first man to piss his pants on the moon. (It was said humorously, so it's less well-known.)" "My humor is pain in disguise. We laugh to hide the pain." "I don't think comedians make an impact; I think they're a reflection of what's happening." "I think the biggest thing that comedy needs to be is fearless." "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb--and I also know that I'm not blonde" "I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park" "A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married" "A clergyman is one who feels himself called upon to live without working" "Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts" "Beauty, n: The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband" "Laughter is the best medicine. It cures everything."